If You're in a Hole.....STOP DIGGING!

This was probably the first lesson we learned, and not an easy one at that! Upon realizing that we had to "go it alone," the first thing I did was cancel every single credit card in my name. There were gas credit cards, store charges, Visa's and my beloved, American Express that had no spending limit! Even before the divorce was finalized, I canceled, paid off and tore up each and every one - and paid every other outstanding debt in my name.

Why?!

The temptation to spend beyond one's means is too great. It was too easy to use these pieces of plastic in exchange for real money and the pattern that soon developed was "paying off what I could afford" rather than "paying in full." Not only did the debt keep me up at night, but it never went away - not before I was married; not during...but it sure as hell did AFTER!

An added perk that came from my cash only life was the fact that every single, nobodies damn business expense is subject to the rules of discovery in court. This was something I did not realize at the time. By having NOTHING to discover, I was able to lead my life without feeling like I was under the magnifying glass of my enemy and it was a lot easier for me to get my paperwork together for judgment day. Talk about improved sleep!

Another advantage of this was the ability to budget effectively. I know almost to the penny what I have to spend each month and the hours I used to spend paying bills are now spent on more lucrative and enjoyable activities with my children. I have a food budget, a clothing budget, a gas budget, an entertainment budget.....all which I must maintain if we are to make it through each week. Of course, there are unexpected happenings, like the flat tire I had yesterday because a screw punctured my tire and the plumbing that I effectively clogged single handily in a rush to do too many things at once. Of course, this latest occurrence happened on an expensive, emergency plumbing holiday weekend. How do I deal with such things?

The tires were bought at a store under warranty. Even the screw puncture which was no fault of myself or the tire, was covered! My tire was fixed in a matter of minutes FREE OF CHARGE because I bothered to shop around for this warranty! The plumbing was a different matter. No plumber is going to work overtime and not charge you for ruining their holiday weekend. Fair enough. These were once the exact dilemmas that would go on that credit card of yesteryear. So, there I was, faced with a $325 plumbing bill (which would have been four-hundred, but I asked for a break. You'd be surprised how many people will work WITH you if you just ask). I had no way out SO.....I paid. This, in addition to getting two kids off to camp left me with a whopping $18 in the bank for three days! What that meant in the major scheme of things was that we had to REALLY think about what we were going to do and spend for a weekend. End of story, no big deal.

The one thing I always do is make sure there is at least 3 days worth of nutritious food in the house and at least a 1/2 tank of gas. While those three days were LEAN, we enjoyed swimming, reading, crafts and good meals which made them LARGE! Thanks to the 1/2 tank of gas, I was able to get my 2 oldest to sleep away camp and no one was any worse for wear.

Which brings me to CAMP?! How do I put two kids in camp for a week? The same way I took them to Disney! (saved for another post) This is something I budget for from the week school starts. It's a personal feeling of mine that kids need a variety of activities and experiences with which to grow. Putting just $100 per month into a jar (that's $25/ week) allowed them this very opportunity. In addition, there are scholarships and opportunities available that enable one to lower the price substantially. This year, I was unable to get in on those deals, but you bet, I will be all over them for next! In my case, this year, I simply explained what I had and guess what, they let them in anyway. Ummmmm.....yes, I ASKED.

So, the first step to Living Lean Large is to get rid of all debt and stop accumulating more. It is impossible to get ahead if you are always behind - a lesson learned by me the HARD way.

If you're in a hole.....STOP DIGGING!